Moderator, Can we ban the OCPD'rs from our side?
There are a lot of aware OCPDers who are very valuable to the discussion. I think that the problem here is that Kid is extremely motivated to see OCPD as a good thing. And if people have a problem with a good thing, those people are bad, right? So he's motivated to see the Nons as bad, or at least as the cause of the problem.
To go to a different disorder, a lot of hoarders see their hoarding as a good thing, because they give their kids all this stuff! They want to give them everything! The fact that all that stuff is chewed by mice and the heat and plumbing doesn't work because no one can get past the stuff to fix it and that their kids can't use it or play with it because there's no space in the house to do so, doesn't register with them.
The idea that actions that (1) have good motivations but (2) cause harm are (3) harmful and should be changed, doesn't resonate with those hoarders. And the idea that their actions might _not_ be utterly good-motivated, that they might be buying and keeping this stuff to relieve their own anxiety and make themselves feel better rather than to help others, is utterly rejected. They _need_ for their actions to be entirely motivated by good, so they close their eyes to any evidence that they're not, and therefore they close off any hope of change.
As I see it, Kid needs for OCPD to be good, to be entirely good-motivated, to be free of any selfishness, any desire to ease anxiety, anything that helps the OCPDer at the expense of others. And to make that work, he needs the Nons to be The Problem.
And as long as he needs that belief, he's going to hold that belief. People believe what they badly need to believe, no matter the evidence against it. My father, an engineer, needed to believe late in his life that he was going to win a lottery with odds of many millions to one, because if he didn't win it, he would have to move out of his house. So he believed it. He knew math, he knew statistics, and he blocked off all of that knowledge because of what he needed to believe.
So when I'm up to it, I may debate in those threads, more for people who may be reading than in any hope that Kid will "hear" me. And when I'm not, I don't read those threads.
So all I can recommend is, don't read those threads.