Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

A support group for those with OCPD and their loved ones.
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 Post subject: Re: Why do OCPDer lack empathy?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 4:02 pm
Posts: 162
Francie wrote:
My layperson opinion, based on personal experience as well as reading and observation:
Empathy is something people learn from observation and practice. OCPD patterns generally keep a person in an ongoing survival mode, where the focus is at a crisis management level, which is very different from the level at which humans practice and develop empathy. The development of empathy comes from a place of relative peace and acceptance with oneself and the world, and this generally isn't a place the OCPDr is in.

We (ocpd'rs) can develop empathy, just as any other human has. But we need to first accept that we've spent our lives in this other mode and haven't developed it, which requires accepting that our thinking and perspective is, & has been all along, distorted. Which requires letting go of a lifetime of engagement with these beliefs and ideas that we have in our head and starting over to develop new ones.

So it's certainly not the case we can't learn it. But it is the case that there's a lot that needs to come first to get ourselves to a place where we can allow ourselves to.


Francie,
Thank you for this. Crisis management mode is my OCDPH's natural default setting. It is exhausting for me. I'm sure it is for him, too. He enjoys very little in life due to always being in crisis management. The weird thing is, he has an abundance of empathy for animals but never for humans other than his mother.

mermaid


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 Post subject: Re: Why do OCPDer lack empathy?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2016 11:53 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2016 6:41 pm
Posts: 2
Just to add...many people who are Aspy's are extremely empathetic, they just have trouble communicating or showing it in a socially well adjusted way:) My son who has Asperger's has amazing empathy. Sometimes when we are in the community he will act in a callous, rude way, but it is unknowingly. Once I explain how he should have responded he is devastated that he could have possibly hurt someones feelings.

The responses above are amazing at explaining OCPD empathy issues. I knew my husband was not narcissistic because he could, at times, show amazing support. We have had major issues with empathy and this hurt me tremendously as I was dealing with my Mother's death. He is a nice guy, I just had this feeling he just "didn't get it". He is not malicious or uncaring, more like "out of touch" with feelings.


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 Post subject: Re: Why do OCPDer lack empathy?
PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 10:23 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:29 pm
Posts: 11
I'm the same way, when it comes to animals vs. humans. I can try to explain why.

Most animals have whatever instincts and drives are present in their species coupled with whatever behavioral conditioning they've picked up, they don't have a forebrain as advanced as that of **** sapiens. Because of that, I don't expect higher order cognition out of an animal. However, I do expect it out of a human being, and therefore tend to be a LOT more "judgy" when it comes to humans.


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