He would a lot of silent treatment to manipulate me to behave the way he wanted.
The silent treatment is one of my DW most formidable weapons. She's a master at it, and it succeeds in making me feel uncomfortable and anxious for as long as she holds out, which can be hours or even days.
The NPD BF would get angry, threaten to leave the relationship,
Seen this with OCPD too. Only just the other week I was threatened with divorce. I've lost count how many times, over the last ten years, that I've had threats of her leaving if I don't reform to her expectations. It will no doubt happen again before the year is out. Except this time I will probably walk away.
With OCPD's, they have a high sense of responsibility, and can be financially responsible, they can help you around the house (and be clean freaks!), and some of them have a high sense of morality and are fairly loyal.
They can yes. In fact to the outsider they can be the epitomy of a model citizen. Unfortunately within the inner circle they are nothing like it.
For me the most difficult thing is the joylessness of life with an OCPD partner. It's like this soul-less, joyless existence punctuated with tension. Like others have said, an OCPDer can be like a happiness toxin-it feels like being poisoned. The term "wet blanket" seems apt-a thing that is supposed to be comforting but is wet, cold, heavy and hindering.
Couldn't agree more.
I feel bad for OCPDers...I think my OCPD so wanted to experience happiness but never truly could.
Same here. My DW wants nothing more that to feel happy with life. Unfortunately I don't think she ever will. Her demands from the world are just not acheivable and even if they were, there would still be something else to worry about.
At least us spouses have an escape!
This is the sad truth really. The OCPD person doesn't have a choice, they are trapped in their world of misery. We have the choice to leave that world. This is one of the things I struggle to get my head around - if I walk away I would be abandoning someone who has a 'disability' and needs help. It's not their fault they are the way they are, but unfortunately that offers no solace to the suffering SO.