Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

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 Post subject: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 3:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:12 pm
Posts: 721
Hi all,

This was the title of a permanent thread at the old MSN OCPD forum, but I couldn't find a comparable existing thread here, so I thought I'd start one.

Sincerely, Paul


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:17 pm
Posts: 1935
Location: SoCal - 5 yrs moved out/4 1/2 yrs broken up w/6 year live-in with OCPD b-f.
Wow, you have REALLY been doing the spring cleaning, Paul. Love what you've done with the place.

Oddest thing - the shower doors. There were about a dozen Rules for using the shower, including leaving the sliding glass doors ajar - not all the way open, not all the way closed - so it could air out. This was fine, made sense to me.

But being called in to the bathroom so he could criticize me for not leaving them open The Right Number of inches - I'd left them ajar eight inches, and it was supposed to be six, or, possibly, vice versa. I lost it then, started laughing in his face, and actually said, "You know you're insane, right?" Admittedly, not the kindest thing to say, but this was after years of being told I was a slob, didn't care about the house, blah blah blah.

It was truly a :idea: light bulb moment for me, as to how distorted his thoughts and emotional triggers were.

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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:31 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:26 pm
Posts: 75
Mine was the timer on the oven!

I was making cinnamon rolls for breakfast one day. When he got up I asked him to just keep an eye on the timer while I went downstairs to put some clothes in the washing machine. The timer was very close to the completion time. When it went off, he checked the cinnamon rolls and they were not done. He came to the laundry room and asked me how long I put the timer on for, i said 13 minutes. (the package said 13 to 17 minutes). I could hear him pacing the floor and then he came back and said "just so you know, it takes 16 minutes for them to bake (he had made them the week before) not 13 minutes and you could see his frustration that he had to go to the oven 3 minutes earlier! UGH :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 1:31 am
Posts: 401
Location: USA
Recently, I bought a stainless steal grill tray. It's a small, flat, thin, 10" x 6" piece of metal that has holes in the bottom and lips on 3 sides so you can pick it up. It's to place on the existing outdoor grill and I bought it because I no longer trust that our grill gets clean enough.
My OCPD husband 'allowed' me to buy it but started in on a slow but consistent rant that sounded like this:

'Do you realize that the grill tray will get very dirty, you won't be able to get into those little holes to wash it, you can't bring it inside to wash it, and if you put it in a bucket you might drop it and it can fall on the deck and cause the deck to catch on fire?'

At that point I said nothing, and silently returned it the next day. He was actually surprised!!
I knew with a rant like that I needed my sanity more than a clean grill tray! :-(

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"The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished".
- George Bernard Shaw

My new blog:. http://seekingclearvision.com
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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 2:13 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:08 am
Posts: 7
In the house with my ex-wife and her mother (both suspected OCPD) there was no dishwasher permitted even though we easily had means for this. We washed the dishes by hand. They liked to use a cloth and fill the basin to a certain level. I used a device like this:

http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://img4.foodservicewarehouse.com/IC/375/76/Kitchen_Sponge-4876.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.foodservicewarehouse.com/ImageDetail/fi4876.aspx&h=250&w=375&sz=25&tbnid=7jW2AYAvb7u2oM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=135&zoom=1&usg=__3MploYxvCSEymoM2qvtnCz6K8Fs=&docid=KotOHUcC5VzHyM&sa=X&ei=XGVgUbjkI4ej4AO0g4CwDQ&ved=0CFwQ9QEwBw&dur=1183

This was not acceptable. The sponge was too messy so I had to give it up. Eventually, I was screamed at because I did not display the right "energy" while washing the dishes. Horrible.


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 6:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 05, 2013 6:06 pm
Posts: 45
Putting an iced-tea spoon in the drain rack with the handle pointing the wrong way. That was the proximate cause of a year's worth of inquiry.


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Fri May 10, 2013 8:05 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:58 pm
Posts: 110
Saying, "Hi," without "planning" first.

Apparently I have serious difficulty in knowing what's going to start a long conversation, so the first thing I'm supposed to say is, "Let's plan."

Let's plan to greet each other! WTF???


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Sat May 11, 2013 2:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 10:39 pm
Posts: 157
I don't remember too well many of my shortcomings, but I do know that recently my face hardens and my anxiety gets ready to start pumping when my SO uses the word, "terrible," in a conversation.

He uses that blasted word to pinpoint the highlight of something good, outrageous, interesting, exciting, ext. When I hear the word "terrible, I expect to hear news on something... terrible. If it's not terrible information like he indicated, then I don't want to hear it. Further more, I explain that his miss use of that word has caused me to have an anxiety attack and that further conversation should now wait till my anxiety has dissipated and we can pick up the conversation from there. I know it's ridiculous behavior, but he's been using this word incorrectly for months. He had to have picked up the use of this phrase from someone at work. This cycle seems never ending... that's terrible!


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2013 7:15 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:29 am
Posts: 480
placing the frozen food in the same grocery bag with the foods that needed to be kept cold. The only cold foods would suck the frozen out of the frozen foods making them unusuable during that 5 minute ride from store to home.

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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Thu May 16, 2013 7:42 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:46 pm
Posts: 24
looking out the window, smiling , having the car windows up , dropping a roll of paper towels ,looking at my son , etc.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................etc...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................etc.................................................................................................................................................................................................................


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2013 12:08 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 7:41 pm
Posts: 2
My husband cannot finish a project. The mountains he has to climb to achieve a tolerable outcome prevents him from beginning a project. He does not like work, but is a Nazi project manager. The garbage can was close to being full, when he announced that it was overfilled, then tossed his trash on the top of the heap. I spent three days cleaning up his space in the basement. He had refused to file FSA forms, tax data..... After the files were assembled, the mountains of hoarding organized and the years of dust cleaned, He complained that he couldn't find anything. I had carefully shared where and how each item was organized and stored. I found three Apple TV remote controls (which he accused my daughter and I of stealing.) I found a dozen pairs of glasses (which he again thought we had taken)

Every time I used the Wuestof knives, he would stand right behind me waiting to attack. I used the wrong knife on the wrong cutting board, at the wrong angle. He had a meltdown. I apologized, but he couldn't stop the ranting. He tanks once he gets started. I finally threatened to go buy a set of Target knives to use anyway I wanted, if he didn't leave me alone. He tried to stop, but couldn't. I started handing the dinner to him if he entered the kitchen.

My daughter and I loved scripture study in the morning. We would read part of our scripture study lesson, then follow the footnotes for other related scriptures. For us it was an adventure into spiritual learning. For him, it was undisciplined and disgraceful. The last time we tried this together, he left the room screaming profane statements, and declaring that we did not respect his authority. This happened at every meal with prayer. We stopped having meals together at the table. My daughter and I eat together. He takes his meal to his room. He eventually developed very serious digestive issues. Our family nights were so rigidly controlled and abusive, we stopped them very early.

I am a teacher, mother of four children and writer. My husband criticizes me for helping the children with homework, driving them to sports, cooking foods they prefer, and taking care of them when they are sick. He criticized my parenting throughout every day. He adopted our daughter when she three. I finally started asking him to site his source, then dismissing his "expert opinions." He had no children before we met, and his mother was cold, pseudo-intelligent and OCPD. She took her two children into the wilderness to protect them from society. My husband and his sister are bipolar with OCPD . They develop alternative realities to deal with the discomfort and disappointments of life. The entitlement in unbelievable. My husband suffers from cranial narc. He knows everything about everything, and lives to find an equal.

One time, I made soup for a neighbor who was ill. He complained about me doing this, but put his Al-Clad apron on to take the soup to the neighbor when I asked him to. He was proud of his gift. He will not give away, or share food, even if he hates what I cook. Because of digestive problems, I have to cook without any spices, onions... The list of likes and dislikes changed frequently. He usually prefers to eat Layes potato chips.

My list would fill the entire site. There really aren't a lot of comments that aren't criticisms, accusations and insulting. :o posting.php?mode=reply&f=12&t=3821#


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2013 6:25 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 12, 2010 9:29 am
Posts: 480
makin lemonade...identify with you on so many levels...God love ya, I know it's tough.

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MC (NON)


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2013 12:09 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:25 am
Posts: 4874
I forgot to put the cover down on the printer/copier and over time the drum will be ruined.

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Married 10+ years
Diagnosed 18 years ago
Fairly good marriage


“ When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time."
― Maya Angelou


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Thu May 30, 2013 4:14 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 10, 2013 10:01 pm
Posts: 14
Location: Germany
Having much more money with less income :D


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 Post subject: Re: "What is the Oddest Thing you were criticized for?"
PostPosted: Wed Jun 05, 2013 6:11 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2013 8:32 am
Posts: 38
using the handbreak in the car !!!!!! you do not. it could be rusting while you shop the croceries...

having an own point of view! so often!

wanting lamps in the house! in every room!!!!

want to heat the bathroom in winter!

being always so patient and forgiving! this is weak!


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