Completely agree with fava,
A friend of mine has a mother who is Borderline….they tend to be histrionic and threaten suicide often. Over about a 10 year period her mother had threatened to "off" herself 3-4 times…she was never serious….it was all about attention. Making the family jump through hoops to make her feel important. Everyone upset and scrambling.
Well, something set her off again and she sent out all the regular threats etc…"I'ma gonna DO IT!" and the family was sent in to avert disaster mode once again. They did find her mother and she was taken to the hospital.
When my friend arrived at the hospital…her sister and her aunt were running around frantically…crying and freaking out. My friend said, she just couldn't put that much energy into her mother's "Death" threats anymore. Her sister and aunt actually criticized her for not FREAKING THE H out….and she said to them "WHY?….She does this all the time…."
My friend's mom, this time, had downed a bottle of Ibuprofen, which nearly did do her in….by overloading her liver. My friend just did not have any real Give a Sh!t….because HOW was she to know that THIS TIME was the ONE!? Her crazy borderline mother had put them all through the emotional wringer multiple times that she just could not go there again… (The borderline who cried wolf
) ….I understand what my friend meant, because there does come a time when enough, is enough.
You do not know exactly when your moment of "enough" is going to be, but it happened for me when I finally realize that I could not help my OCPD mom, and nothing I did would ever change any of it, and it is NOT my responsibility to fix her. It is what it is….and away is so much better….so much more peaceful.