Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

A support group for those with OCPD and their loved ones.
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 Post subject: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 6:23 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:27 pm
Posts: 112
You are a person of excellence. Your standards are so high because you know what excellence looks like. When you see excellence being celebrated, your heart leaps with excitement. Your passion for excellence drives you to be diligent in your work as you know it takes much time and effort to deliver such excellence. As a result of your consistent hard work, you have ingrained in yourself a superhuman work ethic. If you have not yet made a dent in the universe, be encouraged that, one day, you surely will. Just have patience in knowing that excellence takes time. When excellence is delivered by the work of your hands, it inspires the world. It opens people's eyes and makes them say, "Wow! So this is what excellence looks like!"

The way that you live your life is a testament of your passion for excellence. You cannot bear the thought of compromising your high standards for life by settling for “comfortable” or “good enough” as most other people do. That kills you inside. You would rather die trying to have the most enriching, fulfilling life.

The way that you work is a testament of your passion for excellence as well. When you find that one thing you love to do more than anything else in the world, nothing can stop you. What others might consider a chore, you consider a joy. While others count the hours that they work, you lose track of time. Oftentimes, financial success follows excellence. But money can never supersede your uncompromisable love for excellence.

The way that you love your romantic partner is another testament of your passion for excellence. When you find that one person you love more than anyone else, you really lay down your life for them. While others fall easily to the spousal effect of being comfortable with a relationship that simply works, you work hard at making your relationship exhilarating. You fight everyday for your partner’s heart. You are like the knight in shining armour whose love for his princess is so powerful that you would fight against dragons everyday for her.

Your excellence in intimacy also extends to your other close relationships. Rather than spreading your attention thin over multiple surface-level relationships, you would rather zero in all your energy to a few friends and experience deep, meaningful, intimate friendships where you can offer your infinite love, forgiveness, patience, and generosity.

You have a gifted mind that aids you in your pursuit of excellence. You are highly intelligent, especially in logical reasoning and problem solving. You are a talented strategist. You are able to read people and their motives well. Your mind has a natural ability to understand things that have an orderly structure to them. If a complex machine from outer space was designed in a logical manner and given to the people of Earth to try to figure out its use, you would be the first one to master it.

But more than all of these powerful characteristics that give you the upper-hand in delivering great feats of excellence, the thing that really sets you apart as a beautiful creation is not what you can do, but who you are. You have such a beautiful heart. Your sensitive heart feels the pain of this world and recognizes, through your order-sensitive gifted mind, that there is something wrong that needs to be changed. You have a heart for justice that breaks when you see injustice happen as a result of the absence or lack of moral order in this world. You want to champion moral order and defeat injustice because your selfless heart genuinely cares about others.

You are a masterpiece meant for greatness!

---

For more, visit my blog!

_________________
http://giftofocpd.com


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2012 11:32 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:57 pm
Posts: 4
incredible....so beautiful!


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 7:34 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:26 pm
Posts: 939
Location: Southeast US
Based on the interactions I've had with OCPDers who felt the same way this can be best described as self-delusional.

This is great in theory. It falls apart in reality.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 10:16 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 2:49 pm
Posts: 122
kidkimbo wrote:
where you can offer your infinite love, forgiveness, patience, and generosity.

These are not traits that most OCPDers display, in my experience :p


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:41 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:07 am
Posts: 979
WhiteLightning wrote:
kidkimbo wrote:
where you can offer your infinite love, forgiveness, patience, and generosity.

These are not traits that most OCPDers display, in my experience :p


But I am sure it is what many ocpd'ers intend to give and often believe they give.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 12:48 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:18 pm
Posts: 358
kidkimbo wrote:
You have a gifted mind that aids you in your pursuit of excellence. You are highly intelligent, especially in logical reasoning and problem solving. You are a talented strategist. You are able to read people and their motives well. Your mind has a natural ability to understand things that have an orderly structure to them. If a complex machine from outer space was designed in a logical manner and given to the people of Earth to try to figure out its use, you would be the first one to master it.


The same say my therapist experts, OCPD is a gift but also a burden. Not more, not less. ;)

I´m happy to find you here in this forum. I love you all, my OCPD companions with the same gift and problem. The Aspies have their own community in the whole world and here we OCPDer we have this too. Thanks! We are not alone! 8-)


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:06 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 9:56 pm
Posts: 2623
belgianguy wrote:
WhiteLightning wrote:
kidkimbo wrote:
where you can offer your infinite love, forgiveness, patience, and generosity.

These are not traits that most OCPDers display, in my experience :p


But I am sure it is what many ocpd'ers intend to give and often believe they give.


I find myself noticing that except for love, all of these things (forgiveness, patience, and generosity) are things that are given from someone in a superior position to someone in an inferior position - at least in that moment. And they're things that the inferior takes from the superior, draining that superior. I'm not seeing words like "companionship", that suggest a mutually giving relationship between equals.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:19 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:18 pm
Posts: 358
favasquash wrote:
I find myself noticing that except for love, all of these things (forgiveness, patience, and generosity) are things that are given from someone in a superior position to someone in an inferior position - at least in that moment. And they're things that the inferior takes from the superior, draining that superior. I'm not seeing words like "companionship", that suggest a mutually giving relationship between equals.


OCPDer have not this feeling of generosity, that´s an attribute of a narcissistic personality disorder. That´s one of the great contrast to this if OCPDer are very hard and critical against the own characteristic and doing, are never contented with oneself. You can read this in the specialist literature.

You had this discussion here: post4137.html#p4137

realitycheque wrote:
RealMentalHealth.com wrote:
Individuals with either OCPD (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder) or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) are obsessed with perfection. However, people with NPD think they have achieved it; those with OCPD are quite self-critical and are struggling to reach perfection. Individuals with NPD, APD (antisocial personality disorder), or OCPD are often quite miserly with others. However, people with NPD and APD are highly self-indulgent. Those with OCPD are miserly with both themselves and others [DSM-IV, 1994, p. 672]). Individuals with either NPD or OCPD are hostile and have an inordinate need for interpersonal control; they are both competitive and have a driven lifestyle. However, people with OCPD appear to have an intact capacity for dedication and loyalty -- those with NPD apparently do not [Pollak, Livesley, editor, 1995, p. 279].

Akhtar & Thomson, 1982 wrote:
The obsessional seeks perfection; the narcissist claims it. The value systems of these two personality types differ as well: the person with OCPD has deeply held, rigid but genuine moral and sociopolitical beliefs. In contrast, the person with NPD might espouse such deeply held values but actually lacks any true commitment to them.



It´s not easy to be different and so the wish for a companionship. Different is not better, only others.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:59 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 2:49 pm
Posts: 122
favasquash wrote:
I find myself noticing that except for love, all of these things (forgiveness, patience, and generosity) are things that are given from someone in a superior position to someone in an inferior position - at least in that moment.

I agree. And although I know I'm stating the obvious here, the "forgiveness" on display is usually over some minor perceived offense, and requires a disproportionate level of punishment, followed by many, many attempts to apologise, before it's given out.

Is it really forgiveness if the punishment is a hundred times greater than the original offense?


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 12:50 am 
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 9:56 pm
Posts: 2623
WhiteLightning wrote:
favasquash wrote:
I find myself noticing that except for love, all of these things (forgiveness, patience, and generosity) are things that are given from someone in a superior position to someone in an inferior position - at least in that moment.

I agree. And although I know I'm stating the obvious here, the "forgiveness" on display is usually over some minor perceived offense, and requires a disproportionate level of punishment, followed by many, many attempts to apologise, before it's given out.

Is it really forgiveness if the punishment is a hundred times greater than the original offense?


I'm sure that they perceive it as forgiveness, that they perceive the original offense as huge and unforgivable. But that's all part of a false world view.

And, as a side note, I'd stop apologizing. If you do recognize the offense as one, I'd apologize exactly once. if you don't, I'd never apologize at all. Every added apology gives away more power, and you need to retain your power in this situation.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:45 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:14 pm
Posts: 8
Sooo... I read the site, and as someone who is verbally and mentally abused pretty regularly because they aren't a walking robot that can easily be programmed, I find it difficult to believe all these wonderful traits OCPD'rs must have and believe about themselves. I find it hard to praise their behavior, especially when it makes ALL of their relationships difficult because the entire world must be against them. These are just my personal views and obviously my personal harsh feelings, but when reading things like the word "overcome" with these people I don't know if it exists too often. I wish it did. I have always said it must be awful to be in my husband’s brain, literally imprisoned in there because all must be perfect. But that is exactly the problem, not being able to believe you aren't right in your quirks that make you feel the world will continue to turn if everything is done the "RIGHT" way. I guess what I am trying to say is if the idea of this greatness and perfectionism that is described on this website exists without making all of mankind feel inferior for not being a "blank word" perfectionist that would be great. Unfortunately, as many of the pleas from spouses of OCPD'rs on this forum would show, that doesn't exist. Those in the immediate surroundings of these souls must learn to follow suit or pay the price of not following the "RULES."


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:52 am 
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Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 9:56 pm
Posts: 2623
lesleymh wrote:
I guess what I am trying to say is if the idea of this greatness and perfectionism that is described on this website


Lesley, I suggest that you read some more threads. :) This forum as a whole has definitely not formed the consensus that OCPD Is a state that's good or comfortable for either the person who has OCPD, or those around them.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:01 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:14 pm
Posts: 8
I was referring to the website that the original post was about. giftofocpd.com Not this website. I have found great information and thoughtfulness on both sides of the issue here. This website is in fact my saving grace that has been an outlet for my frustration, whether writing my own hardships or reading good and bad stories about others. I am sorry for any confusion.

It is really hard to view what has been the terror of my life as a gift.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:19 am 
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Posts: 2623
lesleymh wrote:
I am sorry for any confusion.


Ah! No, my apologies; I should have gotten that from the context.


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 Post subject: Re: The Gift Unwrapped
PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 5:29 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:18 pm
Posts: 358
OCPD is a gift in special sectors where the attributes of OCPD are benefits, for example certain professions with exact demands. Every gift is a burden in other wise. Relationship is not the great part of OCPD but not a reason to condemn the whole personality. Nobody is perfect!

Somebody who lives with an OCPDer has mostly a special personality (disorder without diagnosis through expert) too - often instable. Opposites attract. That´s the reason of the great drama and frustrated feelings and black-white-thinking of instable personality. In my eyes it´s absolutely a sign of attributes for a instable disorder. A normal person would go without making this drama and demonization the OCPD.


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