Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

A support group for those with OCPD and their loved ones.
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 Post subject: Re: Any Idea WHY OCPDers Believe They Are Perfect or Must Be
PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2015 3:41 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:59 am
Posts: 22
Lemuel wrote:
I can only speak for what I have observed in my wife - but I think her case is quite typical.

She does not realize that the standards she is requiring of her self and others are way too high, unachievable and unrealistic. As a matter of fact she does not think of these overly high standards as being high at all - she thinks of them as being the lowest standards necessary to make something work. She does not see herself as perfect or even as aspiring to perfection. As a matter of fact, the truth is she thinks of herself quite lowly. In part that is a self-fulfilling prophecy and a cycle that is hard to break out of. But it all starts with her thinking too LOW of herself. She thinks she won't be good enough (for whatever) and so she imposes overly high standards on herself and others to insure her success. But of course the standards she is imposing on herself are too high, so she will inevitably fail. Once she has failed, she will think even less of herself and will impose even higher standards on herself. She is very much aware of her problem and suffers tremendously because of it, but she mistakenly thinks that her imposing overly high standards on herself would be the solution, when in actuality it is the cause for her problems. But of course it isn't the ultimate cause, the ultimate cause is her thinking too lowly of herself to begin with.


Wow all the "she" changed to "he" and "her" to "him" and it's A PERFECT FIT for my ocpd ex


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 Post subject: Re: Any Idea WHY OCPDers Believe They Are Perfect or Must Be
PostPosted: Mon Dec 28, 2015 7:25 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:09 am
Posts: 1083
I think this thread should appear in the DSM as an anecdotal understanding for this disorder...hits it right on.


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 Post subject: Re: Any Idea WHY OCPDers Believe They Are Perfect or Must Be
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 8:46 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 15, 2016 11:29 pm
Posts: 11
It is said that guilt is the feeling you have done something bad, but shame is the feeling that you ARE something bad.

In my case, it seems to be like this: deep down I think I am bad, although I strive to be good. I can usually push shame-feelings from my immediate consciousness, but when I screw up... guilt (I have done a bad thing) opens the floodgates to shame (I am a bad person), and then I feel a great deal of self-loathing. When screwing something up makes you hate yourself (which is incredibly unpleasant), you have a VERY strong incentive to get things right. :p


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