Despite the reaction that would typically be elicited around here by such a post as yours, I just wanted to reply and say that your post is absolutely beautiful. I know that a lot of people truly and painfully suffer because of this disorder and I would never, ever want to diminish or devalue their experiences. However, I am married to a man with recently diagnosed OCPD. I have felt out of place on this board and uncertain about whether or not I should stick around. The terrible experiences recounted here, tragically, over and over; They are not my experience. My husband may have OCPD and this does cause some issues in our relationship, but he is very much the man you describe in your post. He is almost nothing like these abusive people we hear about on this forum. He is a deeply caring, smart and beautiful man. He does sweet things like keeping a cat carrier in the car so that if we ever come across a stray or sick cat, we can take it home or to a shelter or a veterinary clinic. I love him like I love breathing, and I try to appreciate everything that makes him HIM and he does the same for me.
I just wanted to post and say that your writing truly touched me and validated the feeling I had been having that the stories here are not my story. My story is not perfect by any means, but my story is loving and overall, it is happy. There are a lot of arguments and maybe a couple of actual fights, but they all end the same way: we both realize that we love each other and that this is hurtful and meaningless. So we resolve it reasonably and then make sure to show each other how much we care. It is a breath of fresh air for me to read your post. If you don't mind, I may print it out to give him on one of those days when he feels down, alienated and isolated because of this disorder. It will remind him of the things it has given him, not the things it has taken away.
Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for the nice words. If I read in the public forum, such relations because OCPD break here, I'd say the most, that they would previously have come here. Because if anyone ever thinks about divorce, it's too late. Then is just too much going on and both sides hurt too much. The patience is at an end.
I'd like to help, because I know the feelings of non-OCPDer and also the protection, to build the OCPDer. It is very difficult to understand what is going on in a OCPDer, but he can not just like that from his OCPD out. This is very hard. Without patience and love can not. An OCPDer even many emotions, but he protects them in the armor of his OCPD.