I know you think your relationship is different. Everyone does... but not to be a jerk.. it's NOT. I am telling you DO NOT GET MARRIED. Why ANYONE in their right mind would knowingly get married to an OCPD'r is beyond me. Oh you say you love him and he is a great man? Ok, move in with him.. mix your lives together and come back and let us know how that's working for you.
Sorry if I sound harsh but I would just hate to think anyone would have to go through what I have or anyone on this board.
It is probably unlikely, I'm sure, but certainly possible to have a good marriage with an OCPDer. My husband knew how I was well before moving in with me. It was difficult and he confessed that he felt like he was intruding on my space, when he moved into my apartment. However, we communicate well and I, as the OCPDer, have good trust in him. This makes it workable for us - he has some anxiety issues himself so he is at least able to imagine where I am coming from on things, even if he doesn't agree. In turn, I make an effort to try to explain my reasoning behind things. It doesn't mean I'm easy to live with, but we're continually working on how we communicate. Talking, and humor, are so incredibly important.
I do understand that it's difficult, especially if the OCPD partner doesn't accept or acknowledge the PD. That's what very nearly ended my parents' marriage. But it can work out, and it did in their case. My mom has learned how to react to his outbursts, and after nearly losing my mom, my dad at least makes an attempt to control what he says to her.