I would appreciate hearing from anyone who's partner was/is OCPD.....in regards to how many other people in their family had similar traits.
I will give a little information about my own story, as an example:
I married into a family of Italians whereas I am Anglo-Saxon. I did not notice before the marriage that the future H talked a lot about his mother. The only things I noticed before the marriage is that 1) he told me that I didn't phone him as much as he phoned me and 2) that when his mother had a hysterectomy and he invited me over for the first time, he asked me why I didn't go into her bedroom and pay her a visit. (Well, duh! How about that she was feeling unwell and no one invited me to invade her privacy?)
I didn't think anything further of these questions because he didn't make them a big issue. However, after our marriage I noticed that he became more silent and didn't have much to say to me, except when it was about his mother.
The first unpleasant incident was when we were eating supper at our flat, and he told me that his mother was going to be making tomatoes (a yearly endeavour for many Italians for making tomato sauce) and that I should help. I told him that I wasn't interested in participating because it just wasn't my thing. Well, you'd think I murdered his mother! We were eating chili at the time, and he grabbed his bowl and in a rage threw it up on the ceiling. He scared me because he also rose up out of his chair as if he was going to come at me. I ran out of the room to the back yard and told him he was crazy!
After this episode, all he ever talked about to me was his mother.....his mother, his mother, his mother. Every time we were in the vicinity of his mother's house, we always had to go visit his mother. He enjoyed talking constantly about his mother, how beautiful she was, how smart she was and it reached the point that I told him to shut up about his mother because I was sick and tired of hearing about her (by the way, it was not jealousy, it seemed unnatural to me). Every morning when the H went to work, he would go to his mother's to have breakfast. He also said he wanted to get involved in politics in her area so that he could improve his parents' living conditions. (Yeah, this was getting VERY unnatural). In the meantime, I learned from my SIL that his mother always disliked me because she thought I was ugly and had a voice like a man, and ESPECIALLY when I wouldn't do what she wanted done. Also, when I was at the dinner table with them and unbeknownst to me because I didn't understand the language, I was made fun of by her whereby the family would laugh about it.
Fast forward today, I hate the MIL's guts. I haven't seen her for a few years now and I told the H that we should both go our own way. Don't ask me why I'm still here; it's complicated and I am in the process of coming to terms with leaving for financial reasons.
After reading this, can you tell me how YOU were treated by the OCPD's family? Those SOB's!