Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

A support group for those with OCPD and their loved ones.
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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Tue Dec 10, 2013 11:12 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:47 pm
Posts: 120
Hey,

OK, I'm going to just start this by mentioning that this is my third draft of my post. If that isn't enough to qualify for the private board, I'll give you the reasons I think I have OCPD.

Basically, I can say yes to every item on the list for characteristics of OCPD. Every article I read about OCPD feels like it was written about me by a mind reader.

I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I have been going to therapy for the last few months for depression. The issues I've been bringing up to my therapist are basically OCPD issues like emotional distance, trouble with empathy, and anger problems. Since I realized that I have OCPD, I realized that I've been blaming my family for our relationship problems. Maybe they aren't the monsters I thought they were. I was ready to cut my family out of my life. As soon as I realized that this disorder may be the reason, I was finally able to let go of my anger against them.

It felt really good to finally have a name for my problems. But then it started to feel awful because I can now see my OCPD issues happening, but I feel powerless to stop it. I think someone else mentioned feeling locked inside yourself? That seems to describe it well.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 6:16 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:10 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Honolulu, HI
Discovered OCPD myself about 6-7 months ago when doing research on why I am finding life so difficult. Scored pretty high in self-tests and confirmed diagnosis with my wife and siblings. Seems that one entire side of my family is OCPD. Been going to therapy for about 4 months now with only a little improvement seen so far. Username "Ugly" refers to OCPD, not to me. I'm trying to figure out how to manage it, for myself an my kids and others. Thanks for letting me join.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:50 am 
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Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:42 am
Posts: 9
I suspect I could have ocpd. I certainly fit the criteria. I don't know for certain, but I share the same traits anyway. I have always been an extreme perfectionist and I can never complete anything because if it. I'd like to at least meet others with the condition, just to see how they deal with it.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:58 pm
Posts: 7
I don't "think" I have OCPD, it's undeniable (how ocpd of me) fact. I was misdiagnosed at age 13 with OCD. Finally, after seeking help for an eating disorder, I was properly diagnosed by two separate health care providers (one a psychologist, the other a psychiatrist). For me, awareness seems to be half the battle. Now there is a common thread that connects the two-year-old me that was an autodidact, learning to read and write my ABC's (to maintain a sense of "worth" relative to a brother who had begun Kindergarden and knew all kinds of cool shit), the phobic but also "driven" preteen, the perfect(but secretly an awful degenerate on the inside) but socially struggling teenager, to the over-achieving-work-a-holic-appearance driven-fake breasted-anorexic-"successful" young adult. At this point, I just want to know that I'm not the only one, and even more specifically, the only FEMALE with this incredible gift... So, yup.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:14 pm
Posts: 1
I'd like to join the OCPD only forum. For years and years I've suffered with major depression, but when I came across a description of OCPD recently, I realized that so many of the symptoms fit me to a T. (I sent the Cammer test to my boyfriend as well, and he agreed that it seems I probably have OCPD). Thanks for adding me.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:55 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:20 am
Posts: 9
Location: IOW
I would like to join this private forum as I believe that I have OCPD.
After recovering from social anxiety during high school, I felt happy and relaxed for a while. Everything seemed to be okay at 6th form, and my predicted grades were good. I read some books about doing well in exams as I believed that was my main issue at the time. However, over Christmas, I began to feel more anxious. I had already admitted to myself and some of my friends that my mind was imperfect when I had SA, so I have spent the last 2 months exploring my own mind (obsessively). I only became briefly depressed after doing poorly in my mock exams and stress at being unable to find out what was wrong caught up with me. After 2 weeks, I felt a bit better, but became more determined to work out what was wrong with me.
In my attempts to figure things out, I would spend all my spare time searching the internet for answers. I diagnosed myself with OCD, social anxiety (again), emotionally abusive parents, PTSD from my car accident, SAD, and GAD before I found out about OCPD. Of course, I made a massive list of all my 'mental health issues'. I think a lot of my symptoms must be linked to OCPD or stress. I think my mum also has a form of OCPD, focused more on her family than on herself.
I have taken many online tests (including the Cammer test) and I have high scores on each one. Now many things make sense, like my days of anger at little things (books not lining up properly, my cat messing up my perfectly arranged pencils, the smell of meat in the fridge), my sudden needs to organize my room, spending ages making sure there are no gaps in my handwriting, taking 2 hours to choose an outfit at the weekend, shouting at my mum for putting clothes away in my wardrobe in the wrong order, nagging my friends about the way they design things in group activities, spending all day finishing a 20 mark exam question for homework, making lists for everything (and look I'm doing it again), and continuing to put 'z' instead of 's' in many words despite the fact I am British (and we spell things with 's' instead of 'z' apparently) because it simply feels right.
Sorry this was a ramble! Thanks in advance,
biffyclyroluver

_________________

I'm not the same kid I was when I was younger
I just thought you should know
...And oh my God, I've lost control
...I hope my mother and my father think 
That they raised a healthy boy
Who needs the help of a shrink
- Still Searching by Senses Fail


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 Post subject: hi, please add me
PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 1:06 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 12:16 pm
Posts: 11
Hello,
My ridgidness, rules, and anxiousness are really messing my life up... Private and public interactions are becoming very challenging. I'm considering real therapy, but this I feel is a good start.
Thank you,
Cm


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:08 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:54 pm
Posts: 1
I was diagnosed with Anankastic Personality Disorder back in 1988 following a breakdown after my daughter died and my wife leaving me and taking my other two daughters with her.

I chose to ignore the diagnosis and just get on with life. Another failed marriage followed and I am now in the process of losing my third wife.

I have on many occasions tried to explain OCPD to my current wife but she isn't that interested. I think I left it too late to explain and she now can't or won't see anything other than me being difficult on purpose.

The big thing I tried to explain was the anxiety that things not bring put back in their place causes me. But she refuses to even try that.

I'm not here to save a marriage, but to try to understand myself better.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 1:32 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2014 1:01 am
Posts: 1
All the research describes me. I'm hoping to try ideas others have posted. Would love to know what it feels like not to have this burden.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2014 8:45 am 
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Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2014 8:29 am
Posts: 23
Hi,

I would like to join the OCPD only forum. I haven't had an official diagnosis but I was raised by an OCPDer, with occaisional NPD + ASPD traits. This has left me with an intense fear of doing things wrong or making mistakes which has mostly ruled my life. I've been lucky enough to go through treatment, although I did not appreciate it or what it was for at the time. I stopped engaging about 6 months in because it wasn't right for me, wasn't what was needed and I didn't agree with the way the service was run or worked and I thought I knew better :roll:

I am lucky enough to be aware of my difficulties and most of the time I'm able to maintain relationships nowadays. I've recently moved in with my SO after a series of very stressful life events though, which have caused a relapse and I've spent the last two months planning to the point of not actually getting anything useful done, except for perfect the house... (you should see the lists. The endless piles of lists. And how long it took me to unpack the kitchen. and I'm STILL not happy with it). I've found myself snapping more at my partner and I can feel the OCPD coming out again. I would like to join to gain support of others whilst I try and find the next stage of treatment for myself.

Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:12 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:57 am
Posts: 3
I was diagnosed with OCPD in 1999, and have struggled with it mightily ever since. Very high functioning (I'm a lawyer), but now have children who need a parent that will let them be them, and not be a mini version of the OCPD parent (you should see my kid's Lego organizers. :)). Anywhoo, I would like to be on this forum please. Thanks.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:46 pm
Posts: 7
Not sure what to say here. The question was to tell you why I believe I have OCPD. Cant tell you why I believe that but I can tell you that I was informed back in "95" I have personally disorder that coupled with ocd tendency by my "oh hell" lets say doctor because I cant spell the other word for "quack". If thats not enough then I have my crammers score of 78 aswell as my wife to back it up. Ok ok enough messing around. Yes I have OCPD take prozac 40mg everyday keeps me lets just say complacent and not so rough around the edges. Can I prove it to you no do I wish you could see it for yourself no all I can say is its in me has been for as long as I can remember and after 48 years I think I might just have a handle on it, for today anyway. Now my questions if you dont mind. What makes you confident you are letting in only those with OCPD? What credentials do you (the one reading this) have?

_________________
Dan,
Married to DW for 9yrs
OCPD aware in "95"
Diagnosed in "95" aswell
emotionally best described as " Spock" from Star Trek


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:18 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:12 pm
Posts: 715
Hi Dan,

Dan wrote:
Now my questions if you dont mind. What makes you confident you are letting in only those with OCPD? What credentials do you (the one reading this) have?


I try to note sincerity and then weigh any specific claims someone makes to having OCPD. I don't have any credentials.

Sincerely, Paul


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 Post subject: which iRe: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with O
PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:08 pm
Posts: 3
I just joined the forum, & I understand there is a live chat tonight at 9:30 p.m. Eastern.
is there an audio conference call session or is it only online using keyboards?

Don


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 Post subject: Re: OCPDonly is a private forum only for those with OCPD
PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2014 7:43 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:08 pm
Posts: 3
Be Free wrote:
Hi,
Would really love to join to learn more..and could do with some support from similar minds.

About me: I've always known something was odd about my behaviour as a young teenager, obsessive thoughts, unreasonable worries and concerns.....I was always told "You worry too much" or "You think too much".....hmm.
Mid adulthood I became aware of my necessity to have things in their place and to have things done a certain way....I kinda tried to tell myself thats just the way I am...but inside knew it was a bit over the top and I did really want change...it was horrible. I described it as being locked inside myself.
More recently after struggling within my current relationship I had to take a deeper look at my part to play....and although painful and scary I have confirmed what I always knew. At a younger age I didn't know about OCPD, but thought I might have a mild form of OCB. My recent discovery of OCPD has left me feeling happy to find a clearer path to follow, but frighted of the cleaver controller (that lives within) and her sneaky ways of hiding and protecting herself. ..Who will I be if Im no longer me....? ....Has my ways of being, been an illusion of my true self all this time?
My drive to understand the mind has been a constant and now I become aware that that too is a trait of OCPD. Great....
....Is there anything that is still me after all these layers are removed?
Its all a bit much to chew and a scary road to travel, but Im glad to have started this journey and look forward to your support.

Thanking you in advance.
Be Free*


Hi Be Free,
I just joined 2 days ago so I am just starting on this OCPD self-discovery journey -- that is understanding the journey that I have been on all these years and trying to figure it out using one model or another or trying to integrate them all into some type of theory of everything. Am I sounding authentically OCPD? We do a lot of figuring and analysis don't we?
You posted this 3 years ago: "is there anything that is still me after all these layers are removed?" -- did you, or have you, found out?

OCPDDon (I am not sure that I am using this quoting app correctly -- I hope that i put it is the right space)


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