Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

A support group for those with OCPD and their loved ones.
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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 7:18 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:10 pm
Posts: 228
Thanks Francie, your explanations always offer insights.

terpsichore - my husband deletes almost every email he gets, he only feels calm when his inbox is empty. He cleared out the call log every night on the telephone at home.

And the list making, for all the years that he has traveled for business (I couldn't get him to go ANYWHERE for pleasure), he writes a packing list which includes "Rx eyeglasses" (he couldn't leave the house without them, his eyesight isn't good, "wallet", "watch" etc. It all had to be checked off. I can only imagine how tiring it must be to have OCPD.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:08 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:16 pm
Posts: 66
Location: NYC
Reading your post francie, puts all the pieces together. Growing up my mother is OCPD, and her anxiety put me in a state of always worrying if things are going to be ok. So I see how now I developed my OCPD traits it was a way for me to cope with all the anxiety in my home growing up. My mom was so worried all the time about me and my sisters, very obsessive.

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YOLIE C.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:22 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2013 1:26 am
Posts: 5
LovethatOCPDMan wrote:
After using the toaster, one must not only unplug, but clean out the crumb trap, shake upside down over the sink to remove any loose crumbs...

We have joked here before that if we ever had an OCPD & partners convention, we'd want two walls set with toasters & plugs. The partners could go plug 'em all in, then the OCPD'rs could race over to that wall to UNplug them while the partners were meanwhile plugging 'em in on the opposite wall :lol:

This is why I've set a plugged in toaster as the favicon (the little picture that shows to the left of the blog name in browser tabs) for the blog;http://perfectlyawfulusa.blogspot.com/ and on my business card for it, there's the picture of the toaster and the phrase, Remember the Toaster! (As in, remember the Alamo!)


Newbie here, but OMG!

I lived in a home with three OCPDers (dad, gran and sis) toasters were and still are an issue!

Unplugging everything if not in use (including WiFi router) is strictly implemented and heavily criticised if rule is not followed every time.

Any stories about refilling the ice cube trays in the freezer?

At my mum and dad's there is a very complicated procedure to make sure there are always enough "fresh" ice cubes in the freezer.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:34 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 8:05 am
Posts: 174
I absolutely adore laundry, when I lived alone I did it daily. Now that I share a home with others, I have myself on a biweekly schedule. I guess my main 'quirk' would be that I refuse to wash my clothing with other people's clothing, I find it absolutely revolting. Other than that I am not too picky. I enjoy neatly folding, ironing and color-coordinating my belongings.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 8:37 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:13 am
Posts: 70
Anyone else got this one? You know how it says on the detergent package how many washes it should do - my husband keeps a tally on the back of the package (using a white sticky label to write on if necessary) to show how many washes it actually did! Who actually cares? When it's done, it's done! He also insists on buying the cheapest detergent he can find and I am not allowed to do the laundry in case i use too much. He expects two loads a week to be enough- one dark and one light - for a family of four!
Also the dishwasher - I am not allowed to put large dishes or pots and pans in the dishwaser because it's a waste of space. :lol: They have to be done by hand.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 9:42 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 5:13 pm
Posts: 580
irishgirl wrote:
Anyone else got this one? You know how it says on the detergent package how many washes it should do - my husband keeps a tally on the back of the package (using a white sticky label to write on if necessary) to show how many washes it actually did! Who actually cares? When it's done, it's done! He also insists on buying the cheapest detergent he can find and I am not allowed to do the laundry in case i use too much. He expects two loads a week to be enough- one dark and one light - for a family of four!
Also the dishwasher - I am not allowed to put large dishes or pots and pans in the dishwaser because it's a waste of space. :lol: They have to be done by hand.


His approach makes sense to me, but I can understand why you don't see the value or find it oppressive. I value efficiency and frugality. I know some fixed income people who carefully plan laundry to manage limited resources. Maybe it's more about a differences in cost/benefit analysis.

I don't usually put pots and pans in my dishwasher because I have a septic system and I don't want food remnants or grease going down the drain and often I have to scrub the bottoms to get it clean, so at point why wash it half way and then load and unload the dishwasher.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:03 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:10 pm
Posts: 228
The dishwasher was a major battle ground. He would literally stand over me and move a fork a half inch over from where I had placed it. Everything had to be fully washed before it was put into the dishwasher, he believes the purpose of the dishwasher is to "sterilize" the dishes, not wash them.

One time he blew up at me for sneaking in a knife with a small bit of peanut butter on it that I hadn't been able to rinse off.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:19 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:13 am
Posts: 70
Yes!!! - if I load the dishwasher, he will reposition every item to "maximise space", often cramming things in so tightly together that the cups and glasses get chipped and the bowls don't get washed properly. The cutlery has to be arranged all the knives in one compartment, spoons in the next etc. He will even remove one item so he can put a different one in :x
I have lost count of the number of things he has broken. It is not, as some have suggested, that he is concerned about our tight budget. That is really not an issue. And anyway, it would probably cost less to let me wash them than to replace the breakages he causes!


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 1:46 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 4:27 pm
Posts: 150
Yes, the dishwasher has so many rules. When I started putting serving dishes or small pots in despite his complaints, he took them out. So I told him to wash them himself or they would go back in the dishwasher. I do try to load the silverware so everything is spaced out enough to get clean, because that rule makes sense. When he suggested that the tall glasses had to all go on the same side of the top rack, which has two identical sides, I refused and that rule thankfully has not been mentioned again.

I hate to think about the laundry, because that's where I started making my huge mistake years ago. I can't believe I let him complain until I learned to fold and put away all his clothes correctly. What was I thinking? Now I'm so well trained, I don't think I can stop hanging his clothes in the same direction by type and color with the top button done and pants perfectly on the seam and the t-shirts folded the "right" way and stacked by color. At least it has not occured to him to care about how much detergent I use.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:21 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:25 am
Posts: 4874
noeggshells wrote:
I hate to think about the laundry, because that's where I started making my huge mistake years ago. I can't believe I let him complain until I learned to fold and put away all his clothes correctly. What was I thinking? Now I'm so well trained, I don't think I can stop hanging his clothes in the same direction by type and color with the top button done and pants perfectly on the seam and the t-shirts folded the "right" way and stacked by color. At least it has not occured to him to care about how much detergent I use.
Why not start making "mistakes". Then when he complains, just tell him he needs to do it himself. :lol: :lol: DH tried to pull some of that too. I temporarily stopped doing his wash. Unfortunately, he ran out of underwear the day he had a speaking engagement. Oh well......... If he hadn't been so fussy... Now, I do the wash and he doesn't complain. Imagine that????

_________________
Married 10+ years
Diagnosed 18 years ago
Fairly good marriage


“ When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time."
― Maya Angelou


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:36 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:09 am
Posts: 1083
I find myself doing insignificant, ritualistic, clearly-measurable stuff like that if there's impending action needed on something else. In my case it's avoidance and resistance to having to make a decision. If I don't act on it for long enough, the decision is made for me via the passage of time, and I'm no longer actively responsible for its outcome - I had no choice. Irrational rationalizing and all that.

Thank you Francie for encapsulating what I see with my H... it works in his favor to let time pass but living with someone whose default is no action = no decision, puts a heavy load on the partner. Any suggestions?


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:25 am 
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Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 11:24 pm
Posts: 299
OCPD XBF doesn't use his dishwasher because the hard water at his house will ruin it. I asked him what his neighbors, who have the same hard water, do. No answer.

I'm not convinced someone is truly OCPD if they allow the dishwasher to actually be used. :lol: Just sayin'.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:29 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:07 am
Posts: 979
Yikes,

You could be right. Never managed to convince her to actually install a dish washer, wasteful devils that they are.


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:22 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:09 am
Posts: 1083
haha belgian guy...my h says the same thing but only does dishes when asked by me..otherwise it is on MY list of daily chores! He will reuse glasses and dishes to avoid more dishes and b%%ches about the number of pans ,utensils I use to cook...and oh yeah, cooking is on my list too.So much time wasted thinking of ways to be efficient!


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 Post subject: Re: OCPD Laundry Habits ...
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 7:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2013 8:05 am
Posts: 174
I refuse to use these pump dispensers:
Image
They're very messy. If the container isn't washed out after each use, the detergent will leak out and solidify around the cup. If I do not wear gloves while washing out the cup, the detergent will give me contact dermatitis (I have [inactive] eczema). It seems like a nice idea, but it's not.

These regular bottles are acceptable ;) :
Image


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