Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder Support Group

A support group for those with OCPD and their loved ones.
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 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 2:34 pm 

Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:56 am
Posts: 299
repost from: post47746.html#p47746

"I appreciate my DW because....."
We have a rock-star credit score.
My home and yard is always tidy and immaculate.
She takes good care of herself. (primps, grooms, exercises)
She's beautiful. (and likes to play seductress.)
She loves our kids. (And this is one area I feel that I truly understand and participate in her "anxious concern." They sometimes keep me awake at night worrying too!)
Her smile and laugh, is contagious.
She loves the great outdoors. (Tomboys are awesome! I love taking her fishing, while she sunbathes in a bikini and gives me her book review of 50 shades of gray. Gives me pause, as I reconsider the practical application of fishing-line and fish hooks. :D )
She's a strong and independent woman.
She has a strong sense of family, and works on these relationships.
She's a good friend. And knows how to listen.
She forces me to grow, adapt and better myself.
She's playful, and sportive. (Especially when she's sporting those bike shorts. They're like a negligee to me. Weird and disturbing to her. Just not me.)
She got skillz. (Singing, hard-working, green-thumb, crafty, resourceful)
She's a daughter of my God. And I can better appreciate the sacred role of wife, mother and daughter and the blessing and texture it serves in families.
She's totally different than me! Which makes life interesting, engaging and always adds some mystery (feels like confusion sometimes) into the mix.

Remembering to appreciate the good outcomes, amidst the negative behaviors that drive them - helps me to be more accepting and positive in this relationship dance. And the beautiful (and imperfect just like me! [twitch!]) woman I chose to Lambada with.

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:06 pm 

Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2013 7:40 am
Posts: 709
I feel the need today to talk about my OCPD BF. I am a "stayer"--11 months so far. I usually come here for advice or vent or gain solace in our shared frustrations. None of those things have (or will) changed, sadly, but I stay because the good so greatly outweighs the challenges.

1. He is hysterical--purposefully bad puns, corny jokes, the whole bit.
2. He can use medical lingo (with cute mistakes and mispronunciations that he does not mind being corrected about) and enjoys hearing about my surgical cases and even likes when I have photos!
3. He's a "pasty white boy" who can bust out rap lyrics appropriate to any situation.
4. He knows the words to every song The Smiths ever did.
5. He donates money--and more importantly, time--to charity. His current life insurance beneficiary is a charity.
6. He was the first to say "I love you" and says it every day.
7. When we were first dating and he went camping out in a very desolate area for cell service, he still called me every night, even though he had to stand "like the statue of Liberty" to get service.
8. He fixed my bike, he's good with cars, he can build stuff.
9. He makes good coffee and delicious eggs for breakfast. He even has tried to make a few gluten free meals for me.
10. On our first date, I wrecked his foil-type kite into the ground multiple times (luckily no lasting damage). I was frustrated but wanted to continue until I "got" it if he would let me because I didn't want to break anything. He said my tenacity that day was like a "Faberge Egg moment" for him.
11. He is respectful when he talks to wait staff. He does not speak down or demean those below him.
12. He loves animals (although not their hair and spit, lol).
13. He keeps his promises.
14. He enjoys live music--bonus that we have the same tastes!
15. He taught me how to kayak.
16. He gave me a trip to the beach for 4 days for an Xmaspresent (coming up next month!).
17. He only fixes things the "right" way (double meaning noted!).
18. He will always defer to anyone who is an "SME" (subject matter expert). On some things that is me!
19. Is a gracious winner (at Rummy every time) and checkers (when I beat him, regularly) :lol:
20. He doesn't let me pay when we go out, even when I invite him.
21. He is a fantastic athlete.
22. He texts me the moment he wakes up every morning. We talk last thing before we go to bed every night.
23. He trusts me with his dogs.
24. He is very supportive of my sport (dressage), has come to many competitions, and offers to video tape each one. He helps around the show grounds and pitches in to help me and my friends.
25. And the last thing I can think of off the top of my head: He is super handsome, super fancy, and super fun!

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 2:21 am 

Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 11:35 pm
Posts: 39
Caring and caretaking
Remembers everything that's important to me that's going on in my life
Loves me
Soft-hearted, especially towards small animals
Empathetic (I know ... he's deeply empathetic but also not empathetic, at the same time)
Super hard working
Goes to great lengths to make me happy
Can keep going even when tired
Tries very hard at almost everything he does

I think many of D's best qualities are, at least in part, due to OCPD not in spite of it ...

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:24 pm 

Joined: Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:19 pm
Posts: 6
I appreciate these posts as well - trying to see the good in myself right now with a bad situation here at home. Hope my partner returns soon. Waiting is the hardest part.

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2014 6:54 pm 

Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:53 am
Posts: 64
Fiercely loyal
Incredibly attractive
Understands (most of the time) my need to have me-time
Our house is always spotless
Handy - if he's going to build or fix something, he'll make sure its perfect.
Talented photographer (he applies his perfectionism to getting the Perfect Shot)

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:14 am 

Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 5:24 pm
Posts: 980
Location: Texas
My DH:
Always maintains a healthy weight.
Takes lots of vitamins and herbs to maintain his health.
Always listens and usually obeys Dr.'s orders.
Is not apathetic about politics.:)
Volunteers his time to help others and has spent many hours working to keep the doors open to our town's public library.
Is handy at building and fixing things and enjoys doing it.
Hard worker and very meticulous.
Is a good cook, although he hardly ever cooks.
Good sailing skills. Many trophies.
Can be a good lover.
Is very intuitive about peoples feelings at times.
Cries at sad movies.

If you want to fly...you have to give up the stuff that weighs you down.

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 11:26 pm 

Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:17 pm
Posts: 678
My husband has many amazing qualities. The obvious ones like being clean and neat are wonderful in most ways (but oppressive in other ways). It is more good than bad, though, I would say.

The other day I was cleaning up in a room we rarely use, and I had a hard time even finding any dust in there. He just keeps everything so clean that it is literally a JOY to clean the corners of my house because it is soooo clean already! It is like he just did a spring cleaning, all year round. :)

He always looks crisp and clean himself, and he has excellent hygiene and always smells good.

He is very affectionate and complimentary to me, and sexy!

He loves my family and me and he shows it to us daily.

I do not think he would ever cheat on me (or if it did happen, it would be some really odd circumstances...he is loyal and I know he doesn't want anyone else). :)

Although this is double edged (of course), his perfection with certain things means my yard is the best looking yard on our street!

I really admire his intelligence in the areas he is an expert in. He can amaze me with his mind.

Although his rigid habits in eating are sometimes restrictive, I also like that he is uncomplicated. If I'm out somewhere and see something I know he'll love, I can get it for him and know he will really appreciate it. (I no longer waste time getting him anything I don't know for sure he likes).

"His way" really is the best way a lot of the time. This would apply mostly to any process or any kind of construction (from painting to roofing and everything in between), and to many other random things (like the best way to wipe the inside of car windows). I appreciate his true abilities in efficiency and quality. Anything that needs to be done, if he does it, it will look better than if I did it or anyone else did, guaranteed. (This is not always the best course of action if there are time or budget restraints, however.)

In general, he is a happy and fun person.

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 7:04 pm 

Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:18 pm
Posts: 358
Wonderful thread! :idea:

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:44 am 

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:05 pm
Posts: 311
My H is so endearing to me because:

He always makes me and our son laugh with his quirky jokes
He has the knack to brighten up any family activity we have together and make it more fun
He is handy and can fix anything broken around the house
He checks my car for me everytime, to make sure I'll be safe
He loves our son very much, and that goes for me too (I hope!)
He is very responsible in his work, and is very good at it
He is softspoken, handsome, and I love his goatie WHEN he keeps it neat and trim
He's a wonderful lover, always the pleasure giver
He's creates wonderful meals whenever cooking catches his fancy
He never complains about the food I cook for the family, and always compliments it
He (at least used to) compliment me everyday on my looks
He always makes me feel sexy and desirable
I love him most of all because he perseveres. Even when seven years into our marriage I strayed, he persevered.
Even when I wanted to give up on us, he never did. Even when I asked to be set free, he still kept the family together. Even when there was a time I told him I didn't love him anymore, he never gave up on me. He never made me feel that he will give up on this marriage. And for that, I love him so very much.

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 10:17 am 

Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2014 7:35 pm
Posts: 89
I'm not even sure my husband has OCPD but seeing that I seem to attract those type of guys and seeing that he has many of the symptoms, I assume I've gone and done it again! I would say his Good behaviors are as follows:
1. He is a great 'lover', dediated to texting and calling me every day, often more than once like clockwork to say "I love you."
2. He is a very hard worker, who refuses to sit idly by and do nothing
3. He is extremely well groomed, always neat with clothes pressed, shoes shined
4. Knows how to save a buck! LOL
5. Extremely focused and will stop at nothing until his goals are accomplished.

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:10 am 

Joined: Mon Aug 05, 2013 2:10 am
Posts: 697
Location: U.S.
Love this thread...! It is good to remember that OCPD does have some desirable qualities - the ones about balancing the budget and looking out for the underdog really hits home...Thanks.

A+ (98) - Cammer Test

Conscientiousness is the defining feature of OCPD from which many of the other symptoms follow. http://sgo.sagepub.com/content/3/3/2158244013500675

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 12:14 pm 

Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:16 pm
Posts: 192
My hubs is:
Kind (when not in ocpd anxious mode);
Silly (only at select times- in private),
Dedicated to family,
Playful with the kids,
Supportive of my career,

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:31 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 1:57 pm
Posts: 16
- Hard working
- Incapable of letting relationship issues sit and fester

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:34 pm 

Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:54 pm
Posts: 33
I appreciate my spouse because:

- He is concerned with our safety: tires inflated, oil changes, drive way de-iced
- He shows his love the best way he knows how: Making breakfast for me, telling me my exercise is paying off, making my coffee every morning
- Although he has to be reminded what is appropriate behavior, he has started to apologize and try

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.
Married 6+ years
Raising 3 kids together: one his/two mine

 Post subject: Re: "OCPD Good behaviors ONLY"
PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2015 10:25 am 

Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:18 pm
Posts: 358
SOHC wrote:
Love this thread...! It is good to remember that OCPD does have some desirable qualities - the ones about balancing the budget and looking out for the underdog really hits home...Thanks.

Yes, I love this thread too. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

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