I have been with my BF for 18 months and I am pretty sure he has OCPD. I have bipolar disorder, so I'm very willing to date someone in treatment, but they have to admit they have a problem. He says "he's made peace" with these "issues", but he is seeing my doctor with me. We get along great 95% of the time, but when decisions about the future need to be made, all hell breaks loose. Recently he found out he's being transferred to another city (about 600 miles away).
I have said I would move (there are jobs there in my industry, too), but only if we can live together. This has been a non-starter for him. He says he can't live with me because I'm too messy (I am), but he's super messy, too, just in a slightly different way. I have been less messy in the past, and believe I could change, but he won't even give me a chance.
The thing is, he already LIVES with me. He has his own apartment, but he hasn't slept there in four months! We are both paying really high city rents because he wants his own space. Now he says it would be "easier" if I moved with him, but I'd have to rent my own place, even though he plans to buy a place big enough for both of us. I will not move down there or stay with him if I can't live with him, because I am not willing to leave the city I've lived in for 9 years without more of a commitment.
But when we're not talking about the "future" or "committments" he's lovely and we rarely fight. He is sweet, funny, caring, and a joy to be around. He and I share the same values and my family loves him.
The other thing is, he has never dated before (we're both in our 30s) so sometimes he doesn't even know what's normal in the dating world.
I was with my bf for over 7 years (long distance - I know....) and unless we were talking about commitment it was all great. everytime it came down to future he closed up and that was the end of our conversation. he just couldn't get my point of view. he often said that i was pressuring him into something. he always needed more time, more information, more experience to come to a final decision. Over 7 years we've known each other there was basically no progress. so no, don't change anything in your life unless you really want to do it for yourself. Hoping that he'll be different one day is pointless imho.