Subsequent to related discussions in another thread, I did a little panning in the cyber-sluice and believe I've found a gem. Here is an article with references that, to me, bridges the gap between Kidkimbo's perspectives and others' reactions to his blog (and related forum postings). It shows in parallel the strengths and problems of an unusual life situation we haven't encountered so vividly on this forum before. Realizing how connotations of the oxymoronic terms "gift" and "disorder" can affect us, and how objectively seeking additional information often provides elusive explanations, can help in mutual understanding.
SENG's "Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children" http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/misdiagnosis-and-dual-diagnosis-of-gifted-children
THIS EXPLAINS SOOO MUCH. My goodness. No WONDER I understood so much of KK's blog and could relate an awful lot of it to my experience with my SO...after reading this, I DO believe my SO is dual OCPD and gifted, and, I don't know how not to sound immodest but the description of the "gifted" traits explains (amongst so many other things that hit home, hard, while reading the article) why I can see obsessive traits in myself (but my T reassures me they're not pathological, but adaptive and conscientious, required for my profession/creative ability/personality/whatever), and why SO thinks I have ADHD... whoa. Down to the messy handwriting, which was my first "C" (in Kindergarten, the only C ever except gym class later on...):
"Poor handwriting is often used as one indicator of learning disabilities. However, many and perhaps most gifted children will show poor handwriting. Usually this simply represents that their thoughts go so much faster than their hands can move, and that they see little sense in making writing an art form when its primary purpose is to communicate
(Webb & Kleine, 1993; Winner, 2000)."
EXACTLY. No one believed me when I tried to explain this when I was, like, 5... (There are other examples, but that one seemed so random and so exactly spot on, I had to cite it! Never thought anyone would understand that...I was always told it was just an "excuse" for being sloppy.)
Also explains my attraction to SO--the things that made sense in him that I knew I wouldn't likely find in other people (despite all the OCPD-resonating negatives that went along with it, that I worked so hard to learn to put up with in exchange for all the awesome stuff, until he appeared to have flipped and started pinning all his problems and a whole host of issues on me).
I think SO would appreciate this article, and it would also help him understand himself and me. But, I need to think carefully how to share it, so he will not look at it and therefore dismiss anything his T says about other diagnoses...hmm.
Ironically, part of me feels the need to Justify, Defend, and Explain why I think this (the "gifted" part) by showing examples, but that would give more identifying information than I want to do right now. Weird feeling, this JADE stuff, definitely in there for me, somehow. So, I risk looking arrogant...truly sorry if it's offensive...that will just have to be a potential cost of posting. (The stuff about social issues also hit home hard...still working on that.) Just want to express that I am IMMENSELY grateful to RC for finding and posting this. Can't wait to scour the rest of this website. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Maybe this will finally get the ADHD and other labels SO wants to pin on me that my T scoffs at, firmly out of SO's overworking/hyper-analyzing brain. (May be wishful thinking...yeah, I know...but, I'm about half moved-on from the relationship, wish I could claim to be more but honestly probably can't, half hanging around to be supportive as a diagnosis is pending and just in case enough awareness is possible to make things good again, sigh, probably also wishful thinking but also not impossible.)