Kidkimbo: Some people with extreme emotional sensitivity, such as myself, possess a near-psychic ability to sense even the history of emotions, hurts, and pains of others. One of the things I learned about myself in all my travels was that I can even sense the pain and suffering collectively experienced by the people of an entire nation. People with OCPD have all the right tools to enrich the lives of others through empathy.
From your blog. From the relevant part of text. This is where I get my idea that you are claiming some superiority and encourage ocpd'ers to use their positive strength in order to show more empathy and improve their lives.
About JADEing. Fava's point about 'do not JADE' is right: if it does not belong to the responsibility of the ocpd'er, do not enter into a discussion; if you allow a discussion, you tacitly acknowledge that the ocpd'er has something to say or that you need to defend your personal space. So it is about setting boundaries.
There is another point: discussion with an ocpd'er is often frustrating for a non (and from this thread, it appears to be as frustrating for the ocpd'er). We are justifying, arguing and defending and elaborating in this thread, in my mind justifiably, because there is a discussion going on. It appears to me that the rules are not identical on 'both sides of the fence'. And it is that difference that is in my view the essence of ocpd.
In another post KK describes ocpd'ers as 'thinkaholics', mulling over a thought not a couple of times, but thousands of times. And that is probably the essence of ocpd. An idea has been mulled so thoroughly and viewed at from all possible angles _within the ocpd-mind_ that it cannot possibly be wrong any more. Heaven forbid, too, because if it is wrong, back you go into the 2000 loops of thinking it all over again, with sleepless nights and possibly depression ensuing.
So: ocpd-views are well thought out, far more thoroughly than the views by non's. Sometimes overdone, in far too much detail, hence the 'ridiculous rules'. Logical. But their main flaw is: they do not incorporate 'dissenting' views by other intelligent people, not if they are in the sensitive area where the ocpd-brain is going to 'punish' its owner with another thousand rounds of always thinking the same stuff. Much easier to rely on the fact that you have thought out the stuff more thoroughly anyway (you have), that the non will freely inject subjective illogical elements such as feelings (we do), that we just do not care as much about the specific topic ('have it your way', we do not lie awake over it). So for every specific topic, better let it go from the non's point of view; and it suits the ocpd'er. And after a while, the non's find out the ocpd'er believes we are halfwitted and unable to cogently plead a cause, and the ocpd'er feels free to think for us and take responsibility for the areas we do not discuss about. And it is just easier for us non's to go along with it than start a discussion, where a point we make is only rarely accepted.
I quote again from kk's site, about ocpd:
Your excellence in intimacy also extends to your other close relationships. Rather than spreading your attention thin over multiple surface-level relationships, you would rather zero in all your energy to a few friends and experience deep, meaningful, intimate friendships where you can offer your infinite love, forgiveness, patience, and generosity.
You have a gifted mind that aids you in your pursuit of excellence. You are highly intelligent, especially in logical reasoning and problem solving. You are a talented strategist. You are able to read people and their motives well. Your mind has a natural ability to understand things that have an orderly structure to them. If a complex machine from outer space was designed in a logical manner and given to the people of Earth to try to figure out its use, you would be the first one to master it.
But more than all of these powerful characteristics that give you the upper-hand in delivering great feats of excellence, the thing that really sets you apart as a beautiful creation is not what you can do, but who you are. You have such a beautiful heart. Your sensitive heart feels the pain of this world and recognizes, through your order-sensitive gifted mind, that there is something wrong that needs to be changed. You have a heart for justice that breaks when you see injustice happen as a result of the absence or lack of moral order in this world. You want to champion moral order and defeat injustice because your selfless heart genuinely cares about others.
But when I say, in shorthand, that KK states ocpd'ers to be superior and that they should use this superiority to address some of the issues they cause, I am - in his mind - distorting reality and putting words in his mouth that are not there. And that is the exact point where communication stops.