OK, I can play too. These are my rules. But try as I might they all seem reasonable.
1. Don't ever finish something without adding it to the shopping list (though a safety stock of at least 1/2 week's worth would be preferable, I can be flexible)
2. Don't ever go shopping without the shopping list. I mean not ever ever.
3. Don't wait more than 48 hours to get back to my e-mail (though 2 hours would be preferable, I can be flexible)
4. Don't put back our kid's clothes in the cupboard if you suspect they're going to get too small over the next 2-3 weeks. Put it on the special pile for clothes-we-suspect-are-going-to-get-too-small-over-the-next-2-3-weeks.
5. Don't EVER leave any rubbish (e.g. drinks can) in your car. Take it to the bin straight away. I mean straight away. Do not come home unless the car is trash free. It is even better to get rid of the trash in a public bin, so ours doesn't get filled up.
6. IMMEDIATELY change the water in your car's washer fluid when you get the first warning. Even if you still have a few days' worth. Stop everything, screech to the curb, and top it up. I wish I was kidding, but this got me seriously upset the other day.
7. You can do 6 because you have RELIGIOUSLY kept a safety stock of washer fluid in the car. And changing oil, and a thermal blanket, and water, and nappies, and wipes, and toys, and toilet paper and... (and that's just in the car).
8. At home, you will keep a safety stock of EVERYTHING we could possibly ever need. From hoover bags to batteries of every size to light bulbs. Running out of something drives me insane and sadly, despite the rules in place, it still regularly happens.
9. If you are inviting friends/family over (whose visits I loooove, ironically, once I get over my planning shock), please iron out EXACTLY what time they'll get there, whether they're staying over, and insist that they arrive on time.
10. You will not play 'loud' music. To me, that means you will not play ANY music.
11. You will not relax and have your coffee and newspaper before you've done your chores. And I mean a full day's worth of chores.
12. You will under no circumstances skip doing the laundry for an entire week-end. I am still recovering from the last breach.
13. (to the cleaning lady) You will not move a single object in our house by, like, an inch. My perfectly streamlined systems would collapse instantly.
14. You will save up at least 1/3 of your salary each month, and you will save up at least 3 months' mortage at all times. We've never managed, and I stay up at night, worrying about the mortgage.
15. You will not have a credit card bill, nor any debt, outstanding for more than 1 day.
16. You will recycle like there's no tomorrow. I would also prefer it if you used only environmentally-friendly washing powder, installed solar pannels on our house, take 2-minute short showers maximum, make our own cleaning products, and recycle religiously, but I gave up on my environmental obsession, as it was conflicting with my efficiency obsession.
17. You will place the empty hangers to the right, hang the kid's pyjamas (in full sets) to the left, and, in the middle, you will hang odd pyjamas. I would prefer it if you added a label with the date you noticed the PJ's had gone rogue, so that, after 3 laundry cycles, we knew to dispose of the space-hoarding abomination.
18. You will partake in one of my sorting frenzies with enthusiasm: even for the infamous many-pile system of 'too big' 'too ugly' 'too small' 'too old' 'OK', with a sub-pile each for trousers, PJ's, socks, etc.
19. You will write down your name, the name of the item you have borrowed, the date you intend on returning the said item, and the date you have borrowed the item, in my 'lent out' manual. Actually, that's a lie. The system wasn't working, so I've stopped lending things out.
20. You will pause Dr. House so we can look up every single diagnosis in the medical dictionary
21. On a long drive, you will NOT play loud music. Scratch that. You will not play music, unless it's music I know by heart and know every lyric to (I appreciate the irony of needing to have acquired the taste for something before listening to it for the first time). We do not waste precious waking hours and we listen to podcasts instead.
22. You will not make the slightest sound, not a peep, and nor will our kid, if I am at my desk (unfortunately in the living room), finishing off that e-mail for another few... hours.
23. You will leave the stairs clutter free, because there could be a fire and in case of decreased visibility (smoke), we could trip.
24. You will regularly check that the fire escape ladder is still in a good state. Regularly. (We live in a tiny two-storey house and, rationally, I can see that we could more easily jump out of the window than use the ladder).
25. You will not light fireworks and crackers - EVER. Not even on Xmas/New Year's Eve.
26. You will not take a toilet break of more than 2 minutes if you are supposed to look after our (4 year old and extremely independent) kid.
27. You will give away to a charity shop anything you haven't used in the last... 3 months. Nothing must be taking up space in our house unless it's in regular use.
28. You will twirl no more than 3 stands of spaghetti at a time.
etc. etc. etc.
I genuinely believe our life will descend into chaos unless we keep up with these things.
I swear, these things seem like the most basic, every day, sensible precautions to me. Feedback from non OCPDers tells me they're not and, I guess I'll re-read the list critically and I suspect I'll see the funny side then.